We went to Amsterdam to visit with a friend tonight and ended up venturing in to the tourist zone for a little bit. I'd forgotten what it was like to be in a tourist zone at all since I got here and it wasn't long before I remembered why it is I hate tourist so much. I swear they leave their brains (if they had any to start with) at home when they head out for a week or two. And just my luck it's Carnaval time here so not only the tourist but the fucked up locals and university students are out in full force as well.
As we made our way to the Burger King where we were to meet up with a friend of our friends I found myself feeling oddly creeped out by these people. At first it was kinda weird cause I don't creep out easily. I figure it's just that I hate Cranival (it's like Mardi Gras in the French quarter only with alot more acid and shit on hand). Then it hit me. I was hearing way too much English and far too many American accents and these fuckers were here strictly to get high. Bad 80's flash backs of home hit me and all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there before someones trip took a wrong turn but there I was stuck just meters from The Bulldog Palace and I had no chance of getting out of there for a while.
Just as we did back home the locals kinda sit back and watch the tourist make total asses of themselves and yes, there are those who prey on the poor little brainless fucks as well. But the big difference is that here the kick isn't just that you can find shit everywhere but that it's freaking legal you actually go in to shopes and buy the stuff and you can sit out in the street doing your thing and so long as you don't have an excessive amount of stuff on you and you're not causing a problem you won't have any problem with the cops..
Many years ago, I made the mistake of going tourist watching with some friends over Spring Break. I learned then that I can't take being around drunk, stoned , stuck up, dipshits who may flip in an instant and kept the fuck out of the trend-o-riffic spots in town and stuck to those joints only the locals seemed to know of back then and I've pretty much avoided the tourist as much as I could since so being in tourist hell as the fuckers startted to loose their shit from being fucked up all day was no fun at all. And ofcourse the shit had to start in the BK and we were stuck in a spot with no hope of excape packed in with a bunch of fucked up idiots who have yet to learn to handle their shit.
So OK some 18 or 20 yearold guy filps out cause the walls are breathing and melting and shit (excuse me, but yes, dip shi,t this is what happens when you're on acid or did you have a clue what you were given? relax just go with it and all will be fine). He's running all over the place fightting with people tring to calm him down we're stuck there while it gets sorted step in to the street and some other shit breaks out (a fight I think) cops on horses and foot cops in riot gear and an ambulance show up and people are realy loosing their shit for about 10 minutes while that gets broken up and people get haulled off. Then there's this weird bitch who thinks our friend is Jim Freaking Morison and she's going on about knowing he was alive and shit. I'm like "Bitch do get a grip Jim would be about 20 years older or do you think he was criogenicly frozen?" It ends up taking us about an hour to get out of there and when we do get out I'm soaked in beer and God knows what our friend suddenly realizes that the tripped out chick managed to get his ring off him, his friend is brused from the skuffle at BK, boyfriend persons new shoes are Jacked and I inform everyone that if anyone dares to ever ask why I refuse to enter a tourist zone again I'm a rip their fucking nuts off and shove them up their god damed noses for em!
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